Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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