dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
