hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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