I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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