So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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