Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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