I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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