ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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