Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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