Moan for me like Helen Keller
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
