this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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