Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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