you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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