where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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