We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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