chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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