he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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