I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
