While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
