I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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