I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
