speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
