i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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