too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
