the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
did i just pee glitter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize