Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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