remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
