Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had to cum in my sink.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
