I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
