Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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