Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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