i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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