when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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