O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
