I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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