Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
