my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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