I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
