It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize