can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
