You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
