i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
