Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
