guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
