Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
