This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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