i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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