I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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