i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
