I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize