Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize