This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
