His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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