if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
