So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dicks are not precious.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
