Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
