At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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