Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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