Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize