thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize