With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
