can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
