if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
