just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm both gender and math confused
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
