what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
