if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize