At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize